Non-Monogamy on OkCupid

At OkCupid, we welcome everyone and support all types of relationships, including non-monogamous ones. 

If you are in a non-monogamous relationship and would like to use OkCupid, you'll want to follow these guidelines:

1. One profile per person: no couple/ joint profiles

We only allow one person per profile. We do not allow couples/joint profiles, and will delete (or possibly ban) these profiles if they are reported to us. 

The reason behind it is this: other people on OkCupid have set their preferences so that they can set the types of people they are interested in. Having one profile per person means that you're only seen by those who really want to see you. It's better for everyone. 

2. Set your profile as non-monogamous 

Visit your profile, then click on the first "details" option at the top right of your profile. From there, you can set your relationship status and your relationship type.

3. Link your partner's profile

On the "Details" settings page, you can link profiles with your partner. This means if someone is visiting your profile, they'll see a link to your partner's profile as well.

Note: we only allow you to link one profile at this time. If you have more than one partner, feel free to mention them or link their profiles in your Profile Essays instead. Here's an example:

5. Find people open to non-monogamy

If you've set your profile to be non-monogamous, you will see only other people who are non-monogamous or open to non-monogamy. Hooray!

6. Approach people honestly and with respect

This should go without saying, but it's important to be honest and respectful in your interactions with other people on OkCupid. 

  • Be open and honest about yourself and what you're looking for. Let people know that you're in a relationship. Tell them who your partner is and if you date with them or separately.  
  • It's important to respect people's relationship choices, so you'll want to make sure you are only looking for people open to non-monogamous relationships. 
  • As always, our community guidelines apply. 
    • If you are in a relationship and are dating outside of that relationship without your partner's consent and/or without disclosing your relationship status, that is a violation of our community guidelines and will get your profile banned. 
    • We do not allow sexually-oriented first messages on OkCupid. Even if someone is looking for hookups and is non-monogamous does not mean they want to hear about your sexual preferences right away. 

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I link profiles with more than one partner?

We know that would be cool! But at the moment, account linking is limited to only one other account.

Why can't I change my relationship type to "Monogamous" or "Open to either"?

If you’re partnered or married, your relationship type can be set only to non-monogamous. You can adjust your relationship status to Single if you’d like to make adjustments.

What do I do if I see a profile that isn't following these guidelines?

Please report them to us!

If you still need help, you can  email a friendly human

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