Monogamy and Non-Monogamy

At OkCupid, we welcome everyone, and support all types of relationships! πŸŽ‰

In case the terminology is new to you:

  • monogamous relationships are (generally) those in which two partners are romantically and sexually exclusive with each other.
  • non-monogamous relationships are those in which people are in some way(s) not exclusive with a single other partner; as an umbrella-term "non-monogamy" covers a lot of possible areas of non-exclusivity including (but not limited to):
    • people who are not romantically exclusive with a single other partner
    • people who are not sexually exclusive with a single other partner
    • partners who date other people independently of each other
    • partners who date other people together
    • relationship anarchists β’Ά 🀘
    • tons more possibilities: "non-monogamy" contains multitudes, and it's a multitudinous world 🌍🌎🌏

When you're signing up for OkCupid, you'll see a "Non-monogamy options" link:

If you are on OkCupid looking for a monogamous relationship 

Welcome! We're glad to have you. You'll want to set your profile as Monogamous.

Once you do so, you will see and be seen by only other people looking for (or open to) a monogamous relationship. You will not see or be seen by people who have said that they are non-monogamous.

If you are on OkCupid looking for (a) non-monogamous relationship(s)

Welcome! We're glad to have you. You'll want to set your profile as Non-monogamous.

Once you do so, you will see and be seen by  only other people looking for (or open to) a non-monogamous relationship. You will not see or be seen by people who have said that they are monogamous.

We also encourage you to read our help page Non-Monogamy on OkCupid for more tips and tricks.

If you're also partnered or married

Still welcome! We're still glad to have you. You'll want to set your profile as  Partnered or Married. You'll be able to do this once you've selected that you're non-monogamous.

If you are on OkCupid and you're open to (but not set on) monogamy or non-monogamy

Welcome! We're glad to have you. You'll want to set your profile as Open to Either.

Once you do so, you will see and be seen by other people looking for monogamous or non-monogamous relationships, and by other folks open to either option.

In case your preference changes in the future

You can always change your monogamy/non-monogamy preference on your profile. Tap/click the profile section that shows your relationship preference to change preferences, or to link/unlink your partner's account.

Remember: you should talk to each other!

Regardless of which of these options you choose, we think it's best to be upfront and honest about your expectations around exclusivity. To borrow some good advice from our friends at Tinder

The next time you start feeling a connection with someone, don’t be afraid to speak your truth upfront. Once you make a habit of clearly stating your expectations and boundaries, you’re going to attract people who are also direct, honest, and know how to communicate. 
 


If you still need help, you can  email a friendly human


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