What is a Unicorn in a Relationship? Understanding the Unicorn Dating World – OkCupid

Unicorn Sexual Orientation - Understanding the Basics

What is a Unicorn in a Polyamorous Relationship - How Things Work?

How to Introduce a Unicorn into your Relationship - What is a Unicorn to a Couple?

Using OkCupid as a Unicorn Dating App and Site

When you enter the polyamorous world, you will probably hear others talk about unicorn relationships. But what is a unicorn person, and what is a unicorn relationship?

Unicorn Relationship Meaning

In very basic terms, a unicorn relationship is when a couple invites another person to join them as a third romantic partner. The connection could be for a single night, or it could be a long-term arrangement that all three enjoy.

But a unicorn relationship is different from a threesome in that there is always an existing couple first, who have a strong commitment to one another. The third person is invited to join the couple, and their relationship is with the pair as a joint entity rather than with each partner as an individual.

Does that sound like something you might be interested in? Read on as we take a closer look at unicorn relationships, how they work, and where you might be able to find a unicorn, or a couple looking for a unicorn, if it's something that intrigues you.

Unicorn Sexual Orientation - Understanding the Basics

Unicorn relationships are polyamorous but with a very specific arrangement. This type of relationship always starts with an existing couple, who could be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or anything in between.

A third person is then invited into the relationship; this is the unicorn. But exactly what is a unicorn in relationships and what is their role?

Unicorns don’t date two people, but rather become involved with a couple as a unit. It is generally considered taboo for the unicorn to spend time with or be sexually active with either member of the couple separately. In contrast, the couple, known as the dyad, continue to maintain their own separate, one-on-one relationship.

There is usually an established agreement that allows the couple to terminate their connection with the unicorn and continue on as exclusive partners if they wish. The unicorn is often expected to accept this arrangement and walk away with grace if the couple wishes. In a way, the unicorn needs to compartmentalize and control their feelings to maintain this relationship dynamic.

This is essentially why this person is called a unicorn: because they are not easy to find. A person who is attracted to both individuals in an existing partnership and can enter into their lives as a secondary partner is rare, but they certainly do exist.

What is a unicorn sexually? Unicorns are very often, but not always, bisexual women. The range of people interested in being a unicorn is great and varied, and can be anyone of any gender.

What is a Unicorn in a Polyamorous Relationship - How Do Things Work?

No two relationships look exactly the same, and this is certainly the case when it comes to unicorn relationships.

Sometimes couples are looking for a unicorn for a limited period of time to spice up their sex lives, while a unicorn is looking for a couple they find arousing, to expand their sexual experience.

At other times, the relationships that are formed are more stable and long-term, which is sometimes referred to as a unicorn marriage. But in this case, there is still a principal couple, with the unicorn in a secondary position, perhaps because they prefer the freedom that comes with this type of intimacy.

The relationship between the couple and the unicorn can be exclusive, or the unicorn might find that they connect with more than one couple, or wish to continue dating other couples on the side. Members of each unicorn relationship will decide what their particular arrangement looks like, and how and when to define the relationship.

However, to be a true unicorn relationship, there must be a principal couple and a unicorn. If those lines start to blur, then the situation is morphing into another type of polyamorous relationship.

This certainly happens. The best way to make sure that everyone remains happy and fulfilled is to speak openly, honestly, and regularly about what everyone has agreed to and what everyone wants today.

How to Introduce a Unicorn into your Relationship - What is a Unicorn to a Couple?

The decision to seek a unicorn to join your existing relationship needs to be a joint one that both partners want. One partner trying to force the idea on another is generally considered a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

It is usually bisexual or polyamorous couples who look for a unicorn to fulfill their complete sexual and emotional dynamic. But there are many reasons why a couple might decide to add this dynamic to their relationship.

Often a couple will meet a potential unicorn organically, and this will precipitate the conversation about bringing in a unicorn. Or you’ll decide together as a couple that it is something you'd like to seek out. But regardless of the situation, before engaging with a unicorn, the couple needs to decide on what exactly they are looking for and the ground rules.

The most common, but not necessary, rule for the couple in a unicorn relationship is that all sexual contact with the unicorn must be joint. Some couples will want all time spent with the unicorn to be shared, while others will be more comfortable with each spending time with the unicorn individually. There is also generally an agreement in place that a member of the couple can decide to end the unicorn relationship and return to their exclusive partnership at any time.

Once the couple have agreed on these things between the two of them, they can then open discussions with a potential unicorn to see if they might be a compatible addition to the relationship. Of course, unicorns are individuals with their own needs, desires, and boundaries. They will have their own terms, conditions, and needs for you to consider as a couple.

If you do find a unicorn and decide to go forward, it is important to remain committed to the boundaries that you have agreed upon with your partner and your unicorn, and always treat both with respect. Of course, with experience things change, and you may decide that you want to adjust your boundaries. But these types of changes should always be discussed openly.

How to be a Unicorn for a Couple

Perhaps you have met a couple and the three of you are interested in entering into a unicorn arrangement. Or perhaps you are looking for a connection where you can explore the full range of your sexuality. Whatever your reasons, becoming a unicorn can be an exciting prospect.

But you do need to prepare yourself, as the situation that you will be entering into will probably be quite unfamiliar if it’s new to you. Also, a unicorn relationship is not the same as a three-way relationship. There are rules that you need to be comfortable with if you are willing to move ahead.

First, bear in mind that the couple you consider joining will have a pre-existing relationship and will probably know each other well. They will probably also have agreed on ground rules between themselves that place their relationship as a couple ahead of their relationship with you as a unicorn.

Many unicorns find this arrangement attractive as it allows them to enjoy the benefits of the relationship with less of an emotional investment. However, as relationships develop over time, this can become more difficult. You need to know that you are willing to stick to what was agreed, and walk away if things become uncomfortable.

While you will need to accept this uneven dynamic as a unicorn, it does not mean that your needs and feelings are unimportant. You need to be willing to speak up, to ensure that your needs are met and to confront problems head-on rather than shy away from them. This is a commitment that you will need to make to yourself before committing to a unicorn relationship.

How to Find a Unicorn or a Couple

If you aren’t lucky enough to have found a unicorn or a couple organically, how can you find others interested in exploring a unicorn relationship?

This corner of the polyamorous world is still relatively niche, and there is a lot of variation in what people are looking for in their specific unicorn relationship. So, to increase your chances of finding a compatible match, we recommend going online and OkCupid is a great place to state your open, honest interests.

OkCupid gives you lots of options in terms of signaling what exactly you are looking for, including a unicorn seeking a couple or a couple seeking a unicorn, so you can find potential matches.

Once you find a unicorn or a couple who you're interested in, unicorn dating is much the same as traditional dating. Reach out, make contact, and start getting to know each other to see if your initial interest is likely to blossom into something more.

Open, honest, and clear communication is more important than ever, as you can’t assume that the person you are communicating with is on the same page. The only way to be sure is to be specific.

Unicorn Dating FAQs

What is a unicorn in a lesbian relationship?

A unicorn in a lesbian relationship is no different from a unicorn in any other kind of relationship; they are a third person who has been invited to join the lesbian couple in sexual activity or a romantic connection. The unicorn could be another lesbian, or a man if the couple is interested in exploring that side of their sexuality.

Who are the unicorn hunters?

Unicorn hunters are couples who are actively seeking a unicorn to invite into their relationship, either for sexual encounters or for a more intimate and long-term connection.

What is a sex unicorn?

A sex unicorn is a unicorn who joins a couple for sexual activity but does not participate in the broader relationship between the two partners.

What is a bisexual unicorn?

A bisexual unicorn is an individual who chooses to be a unicorn and who also identifies as bisexual. This is the most common sexual orientation among unicorns who join a relationship between a man and a woman. But unicorn sexual orientation is not limited. It is also common to encounter a unicorn person who identifies as a poly unicorn, meaning they are polyamorous.

Using OkCupid as a Unicorn Dating App and Site

At OkCupid, we work hard so the app is a valuable and safe place for anyone to meet and make a connection -- including offering various sexual identities and orientations such as pansexual, homoflexible, questioning, and more.

If you are looking for a unicorn or other type of polyamorous relationship, you can set your “looking for” preferences to non-monogamous so you can match with others interested in the same thing. Couples can also link to their partner’s profile, making themselves more accessible to potential unicorns. Download the app now and find your unicorn.

If you are worried about maintaining your privacy, you can also limit who sees your profile and report anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable or breaches the rules of the site.

These are just some of the reasons why OkCupid is among the top unicorn dating sites and apps. Download OkCupid now.